College or Kindergarten?

Allow me to sound off for a moment. Yesterday was my first day back to class for spring semester, and for the first time in at least three years I'm returning back to the traditional, monday-wednesday-friday morning classes. For the last little while I had devoted myself almost entirely to online and night classes because they fit better with my schedule. This semester, however, I managed to wrangle a suitable schedule at work that would allow me to take some of the classes that aren't offered in my preferred late night pajama-friendly format. But after one day, I'm already remembering...vividly...why I liked the other classes in the first place. There is just something so totally grade-school-esque about having to wait in line in the cold for a bus (I'm too poor for a regular parking permit, so I have to take the shuttle) and having to sit placidly as all the little freshman around you are participating in the ceremonial mating rituals of high-pitched giggling (for the female half of the species) and deliberately stupid class-clown comments (for the male half of the species). But despite the claustrophobic bus rides and the aggravating flirt-fests, my least favorite aspect of regular college classes has to be the get to know you games.

I mean, really. How old are we? I thought we left that kind of stuff behind when we took our first all-important step into junior high.

I've decided that the "get to know you" games are what teachers devise so that they don't have to plan a whole first-day lesson and have time to kill after the routine syllabus discussion (and they are too vindictive and cruel to relinquish thier students a hair early). The thing about it is, nobody really knows anybody by the end of the torture, and by the next class period every name and "unique trait" we were so excitedly cataloging will have vanished from our collective memories in a puff of smoke. The only purpose the ordeal really serves is to make each person individually self conscious for several minutes while their fellow students appraise them. And the "unique trait"? There are four categories for "unique traits."

A. The boring one. These are the people who shrug and say "I don't know anything interesting about me. I enjoy watching TV."
B. The peculiar one. These are the people who, with an over-excited gleam in their eye, divulge they sleep in scuba gear.
C. The pretentious one. "Interesting about me? Well, I've travelled all over the world, my cousin is a pop star and my great-grandfather invented ice cream." or
D. The "get me out of here, this whole thing is ridiculous, I thought we were here to learn, people" one. This is the category I fell in. So my interesting trait I shared was, "I'm an English major, but I have two sisters who also studied English." Yawn. What could I say when the girl before me said with a hair-toss, "I'm twenty one and already divorced once. Oh, and I'm voting for Obama because he is soooo goodlooking." ? (For real, I'm not making that one up.)

So now that we all know each other and are best friends, maybe we can get on to the whole "knowledge absorbing" thing. Finally!