2 steps forward, 1 step back

So, my life has gotten a little simpler since Jamison's sleep patterns have begun to be more synchronized with mine (i.e. he is learning that night is for sleeping.) In fact, some of my favorite times with him are when he first wakes up in the morning and nurses cuddled up to me on my bed. He is such a good baby when he is well rested, even smiling at me when I first pick him up. I have begun to see hope on the horizon! He now goes to bed pretty consistently between 9 and 10, wakes up at 1:30-2:30 and 4:00-5:00 and goes back to sleep so well after he is full again. But Sunday morning at 3:30, he would NOT go back to sleep. I can't go to sleep to his crying, so I stayed awake staring at the dark ceiling in my room. I tried for an hour to let him just cry, because I knew very well that he was well fed and had a clean diaper and that more than likely he was just wanting my company. In the incredible book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, it says that to give in to your child's desire to socialize will just rob him of the sleep he needs and make the problem worse. I tried to console him after so long, and after another hour I tried to feed him again. Finally at 5:30 am I took him downstairs so that I could at least be entertained for a while by watching some tv, and he fell asleep in my arms. But when I took him upstairs and laid him down it wasn't more than 5 minutes before he was awake and crying again. Finally at 7:30 he went to sleep, but we have 9:00 church, so I figured any more sleep was out for me and decided to take a bath to relax some of my very taught nerves.

I got a little too relaxed in the tub and fell asleep, waking up incredibly pruney in cold water at 9, when we were supposed to be going to church. (I know, that's bad.) At that point I said "forget it" and woke up Keaton, handed him the baby (who was awake again) and said "I'm sleeping. He is yours." Keaton, thankfully, took him and let me sleep from 10 until 2 in the afternoon. So, no church for us, but mommy at least got to recover some of the sleep she lost during the night.

We haven't ha another incident like that since, but everytime I wake up with him in the night I worry if he's going to go back to sleep or keep me up like that again. And with my return to work only around the corner, I worry even more.

I guess it isn't unusual for a baby to have an episode like that, and we're just lucky it isn't an everyday thing. He is becoming such an individual at only 2 months, and I can see his personality a little more every day. For the most part, he is an observer, he likes to be carried around facing out so he can see everything. He is reserved, his smiles sweet and calm. I know it'll be hard to leave him but we're just doing what we have to do and playing it by ear.

And even though sometimes it feels like we're taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back, that still leaves us 1 step further ahead than we were before because with every incident like what happened on Sunday, we're learning. And that is something!