Rainbow

After a strange summer storm during the late afternoon today there came an astonishing sight--a rainbow with a full, sweeping arc. There were actually three rainbows, but the other two were faint, while this one was radiating color and light. It was really something to see. I didn't have my camera with me (shame on me) but I quickly borrowed a point and shoot and took several pictures which I cobbled together to make this one.

Our world is so lovely.

4 years later...

I go to a lot of weddings. A lot. I never get bored of it. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic...but there really is a kind of magic on that day. I'm lucky that I get to capture it. Seriously, is there a better job?

But the wedding day really isn't that important. It's what comes after. The day-to-day life you live, joined with another human being. The joys, the heartaches, the triumphs, the boredom, the frustrations. The laughter. The tears. Sometimes at the same time.

I was just looking through some of the pictures from my most recent wedding (see them here) and thinking...4 years ago this was me. Almost to the day. (They got married the 8th, our anniversary was the 9th) And I thought, who knew? Who knew it would be like this? Who knew that this is where we would be four years later?

We've created something amazing together. We have a beautiful, beautiful little boy, a home, a family. We have each other.

All of this happened as a result of a silly little English class when I was fifteen years old. I remember the first time I saw Keaton, walking in late the 2nd day of my 2nd semester sophomore English class. I found out his name when he sat nearby in the computer lab and they passed the roll around. His friend liked me. They sent another friend, Wendy, to talk to me. Before the year was over--and after a couple of detours-- Keaton and I were us.

I've been thinking a lot about what I would tell the old me about the now me. I wish I could calm 17 year old me down after a high school fight and say "Cool it. Seriously. Don't sweat it. You'll marry that guy some day. And by the way, enjoy that figure while you've got it." Or say to the 20 year old missionary's girl friend me, "Really, dear, it will be worth the wait. You'll barely remember what it was like when he was gone." I would tell the newlywed me: "You have no idea how wonderful this really will be."

...but if it came down to it, I wouldn't tell me anything.
I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise.

My awesome anniversary present. Thought its a present for both of us because Keaton gets a healthy supply of fresh cookie dough from the deal. Its win-win, really.

mmmmm....molten chocolate lava cake. Isn't it magnificent? Really, I outdid myself on this one. Happy Anniversary indeed!

No post is complete without some pictures of my baby.
I shouldn't think this is funny. But I do. I so do.

In His Hands

Two or three months ago Jamison got sick.

Normally, this wouldn't necessarily be worth writing about, but on this occassion he happened to be cutting his first four teeth--all four at the same time--as well as running a fever and coughing and the rest of the stuff that comes with a cold.

He was very fussy and clingy, I couldn't leave him alone for a moment during the day. Nothing helped him feel better either. I know. I tried everything I could think of.

That night he didn't want to sleep. I rocked him and sang to him and held him so close, carressing his head and making soothing coos at him, but he was inconsolable. He screamed...and screamed...and screamed....

I've always taken a little bit of pride in the fact that I have "the touch" with Jamison. I usually know just what to do and never have to ask for any help. But not this night. After 45 minutes of harsh, nonstop wailing, I finally called for Keaton, who was waiting in the wings.

"Take him," I said, near despair. "I can't do it anymore right now."

Keaton held him really tightly--in what he refers to as "the daddy grip"--snug against his chest. After several minutes the intensity of his crying lessened, but only slightly. After another few minutes, the decision was made: Keaton would give him a blessing.

In the dark bedroom I watched my husband lay my exhausted little boy in his crib and put his hands on his head to give him a father's blessing. It was the first time for both of them--Keaton bestowing, Jamison recieving--and it was very simple. Keaton asked Heavenly Father to help console him, so he could rest. It was short, but moving.

It was the first time I realized, without feeling a single pang of guilt or inadequacy, that I am not enough. I was never meant to do this alone.

This is how it was always meant to be. A father, a mother...humbly joined in the process of caring for these children, entrusted to us by God. Together seeking His guidance, asking for His blessings. Upon us...upon our children...

It took about a half hour before Jamison's crying finally softened and he slept, held protectively in his father's arms. Safe in his hands.

Safe in His hands.

Scenes from Our House

This is my new job.

I love it.

Yes, Duncan has very little understanding of "personal space."
Luckily Jamison is tolerant of having his bum sniffed.
Mommy does it all the time.

I love this boy.

Can you blame me?

He looks so sweet...

but he's also very curious.

And likes to explore.

Good thing the toilet seat is down, right?

Looks like he's planning something.

Don't do it Jamison. Don't do it.Ahhh man....! Turns out only one seat was down.

Good thing the bathtub is right there.

Any Extreme

On the way back from taking some baby pictures for Keaton's cousin Andrea, Paula and I stopped at Cabelas for a moment to pick something up for Stan. Being in the Prius ensured that we would be parking in the very furthest parking spot from the entrance (Paula maintains that it is for the exercise--but I know better.) When we got out of the car she showed me something she had noticed on a trip a few days earlier. In the middle of the parking lot rock landscaping, there sat a very nervous bird.

"She made such a sqwaking the last time we came here," Paula told me, "we looked to see what the fuss was about. Check it out. She's sitting on some eggs."

So she was. In the blazing July heat, this poor little bird was crouched protectively over her eggs in quite an ill-chosen spot, right there on the ground amongst the landscaping rocks. I had my camera with me, of course, so I tried to sneak a bit closer to get a better view.

"She doesn't like it if you get close," Paula said. "Last time she came after me."

Sure enough, our presence put the little mother on red alert. In distress, she popped up from her rock-nest and skittered several feet away from it.

"She's trying to draw us away from her eggs," I said in wonder.

That wasn't all. As I inched closer to to her greatest treasure, she began hopping and fluttering around, chirping and sqwaking and vigorously flailing about. It became immediately apparant that she was pretending to be injured, as if her wing were broken and she couldn't fly. For a bird, this must be something akin to laying yourself across train tracks or stepping in front of a firing squad. She was trying to draw us away. We were a threat...and she was using herself as bait to lure us away from her babies. In a very real way, she was offering herself as a sacrifice--willing to go to any extreme to ensure her babies' safety.

It really touched me. I snuck one last picture and we decided not to disturb her anymore. As we backed away and she hurriedly returned to her spot protectively crouched on the eggs, I felt a sort of kinship with her. Wouldn't any mother do the same?
I hugged my own baby a little bit tighter as soon as I got home.

Aunt Linda

Last week my aunt passed away. I still don't know what to say or write about it, so here is my letter to my brother Brandon, who is on a mission to Brazil.


Hey little Bro,

I know you've probably heard from everyone else about Aunt Linda's passing--and for you its probably quite fresh and still awful. I guess since it was a few days ago I've come to terms with it more but it has given me the opportunity to think. You know, its like all of a sudden there comes a very brutal reminder that this life is short, and we are mortal. I has given me a great sense of urgency. You just never know. I loved Aunt Linda and her death was a bit of a shock but when mom asked me if I wanted to go see her body I said no. It isn't her anymore, and seeing Ellen for the last time in the hospital was so unsettling I prefer not to have the same image of Linda. So the last time I saw her was when I stopped by her house a couple months ago, and she gave me a blanket for Jamison. It was a pleasant little visit. A good last memory, I think.

I haven't blogged about it yet because I'm really not quite sure what I want to say. On one hand, it is good that she is no longer in pain. and we know the plan of salvation, so we know she is with Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Ellen. On the other hand, we both know her mortal life was less than perfect--but who's is? It has brought me to the realization that it is a good thing that it is all in the Lord's hands--and he is merciful. So I really don't know what else to write, just that I know it really sucks to find out but once the shock wears away it isn't that bad. Thank goodness for the big Plan, eh? She's doin a'right, I'm sure.

Hope you have a good week, my blog posts will probably make you at least laugh a little. :)

Love Crystal

Providence Trail

Jeep Glamour Shots:

Matt, in all of his glory: The one picture of me. I don't know if you can tell by my hand posture, but I was terrified at the moment. Yep, terrified....that Matt was holding my camera.

Strangely enough, this is not where we bent the tie rod.

Taking off the tie rod:
This is how you fix things on the trail.

Last Saturday we went jeepin (GEE-pin, verb. To be jostled about for several hours inside a big-wheeled vehicle. Especially appealing to rich people, rednecks, and reckless husbands with extremely indulgent wives.) with some of Keaton's work buddies who, coincidentally, all happen to own fancy lifted jeeps (though more of wrangler variety. There was one other cherokee and a four-wheeler as well). We went up to a trail right outside of Providence--so pretty! And of course, whenever one of them tackled an obstacle, the others had to go over it too. Not to worry, these guys all hail from the vehicle ops department and are, as Keaton so often reminds me, "professional vehicle operators." :)

We did have a bit of a snag when the tie rod on Keaton's jeep bent as he was going over a rock. Normally this would have put us out of commission...but this was no ordinary group of guys. They did emergency surgery right there on the trail, removing the steering, bending the tie rod back by cramming it in the nook of our bumper and using three guys to leverage it, and then putting it back on. We went the entire rest of the trail with no problem. (unfortunately we still have to replace the tie rod. Sigh.)

The coolest part, I thought, was the butterflies--the whole trail was glittering with the flutter of orange wings. I commented how pretty it was, and one of the guys replied, "Yeah, it's nice now--but think how many catepillars there were two weeks ago!"

Umm, gross?

A great ride--I love that time with my hubby. I've even learned not to mind being jostled. I might even call it "fun." :)